The last several days have been proof that I don't need to spend time in this town anymore. The friends I have here, with the exception of a few, are miserable here and tend to deal with that misery by making poor choices. I'm smart enough to "rise above the influence", but due to my depression and frustration with the way things are going, I've messed up in the past few days and somewhat destroyed something that was making me happy.
I can't handle being in my hometown right now. I'm not sure what triggered it, but being here makes my anxiety nearly unbearable. Since I've realized that, I can take steps to fix things, and I'm happy about that, but I can't undo or really make up for what's happened, and that more than anything else is a crushing weight on me that I don't really see lifting until I leave for LA permanently.
I also just noticed how long it'd been since I'd written here.
You can tell I'm hurting when I don't even write.















Comments