I am very painfully aware that when I do not write, sing, or have long meaningful conversations with God (often via reading a good book) that I cannot function. So tell me, why do I continually break the habit of doing so until I am down in a pit?
I went four months without writing here. In that time I have COMPLETELY stopped singing anywhere at all, stopped reading, stopped making my doctor's appointments, stopped praying (except when I find myself crying into my pillow like the absolute mess I have let myself become) and I sank my own ship in doing so.
I found a website/emag called 'Tirzah', and it was just what I was looking for. Discussing God, finding my way back to what I know was right, and after reading a few articles I know that the only way to keep myself sane (abstain from alcohol/smoking, get up every day and DO something, start making progress on eating healthy and getting some exercise) is to continuously put GOOD into my heart and mind. I know that I am lazy and will try to slack off. I know that I have a horrible habit of giving something my all for a few days then letting it slip away. I KNOW these things, but I seldom do anything to halt the negative pattern. This time, I have to. I've taken myself to the brink here and I need some sort of help.
I am so blessed to have a God who always takes back the wayward child and lets the prodigal son come home.