the caged bird sings.

written, designed, and edited by Bee Butler

If you told me then...

Bee ButlerComment
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If you told me one year ago today that I’d spend my afternoon meeting with the executive and associate pastors of a new church plant to discuss my life story and my calling into their ministry IN TOMBALL, TEXAS, I would have told you that you were insane.

I would have been too busy thinking about how my meds weren’t working. How my relationship was over but I had to keep clinging to the decaying remains so that I could stay in California. How I needed a good job to make steady money so I could survive. How I didn’t think I would ever be okay again.

I would have laughed at the idea of ministry, at the thought of a new church plant and my activities in it. I would have told you I’d rather die than come back to Texas, even if it was for a church that I believed in with all my heart. I’d have repeated what I’d said a million times before: If I’m going back to Texas, it will be in a body bag.

But here I am.
Right up there, smiling in my parents’ living room.
In Tomball, Texas.

And I met with Allan and Billy today at the new Tomball campus of Bayou City Fellowship, and I know something crazy is going to happen. This blog stands as a pretty fantastic testament to what I’ve been through. My struggles, my fears, my massive failures, my successes, my inability to get through a post without cussing (except, holy crap, I’m doing it right now!), and how I’m making strides to make this work, here, even though this was never part of my plan.

Because “my plan” was in MY hands, and like the sand I love to walk on, my “plans” slip through my fingers the more tightly I clutch them. I am not in California because that was MY PLAN, and God likes to take a bat to those in order to prove a point.

And He’s proving it right now.

Somehow, Him loving me frees me to let go of my life and to drown in waves of mercy, washing ashore in perfect places where I’m needed and cared for.

Today, I met with two men who were so, so grateful for my zeal and enthusiasm, and they wanted me to know that they looked forward to serving with me, and that God had a place for me in ministry here.

And if you’d told me then that I’d hear that now?
Well, I wouldn’t have been able to express the way that would make me feel.

Saving Tex.

Bee ButlerComment

As most of you know, I gave up Facebook and Instagram for Lent. I have been 100% faithful to that and will continue to be... after this.

Here is the link to a Facebook campaign to save my best friend’s service dog.

Lent is a time of reflection and personal accountability. You know what I am personally accountable for most in my life? My identity as a friend to people I love. Molly Taylor is one of those people, and her sweet boy, Tex, is in big trouble. She DESPERATELY needs to raise money for his surgery, and she asked me for help. I would not be a good Christian or a good friend if I did not respond immediately to that request and if I didn't share this story so that we could save her precious dog. He is her only constant in life, her best friend (even moreso than me), and he is truly a wonderful, sweet, loving boy who comforts her, keeps her hopeful, and makes her life worth living.

Molly, Tex, and me in November of last year.

Molly, Tex, and me in November of last year.


In this time of reflection during Lent, I have reflected a lot on what Molly has done for me. Who she has been in my darkest hours and what that has done in my life. My personal accountability to her far exceeds a social media post.


Here is the link to Molly’s GoFundMe campaign to save Tex.

Please, I am begging you, donate even a dollar to help save Tex. If you have ever had a pet who was like your child, if you have ever had a best friend, and if you have ever needed help and been helped out by someone, please reflect on THAT, and take a moment to make a donation. Tex is everything to Molly, and I would give everything I had to make sure that he could stay by her side for many years to come.

Molly is one of the most incredible human beings I have ever had the blessing to meet. She has loved me at my darkest, supported me when no one else cared, loved on me from afar and gotten me emergency medical care at no cost to me. Molly LITERALLY saved my life last year by providing me with access to a doctor and medication that I could not afford. And now, her service animal, her “son”, her sweet boy, her best friend, and her constant comfort is in my shoes. Except he is in an even more dangerous predicament than I am. I cannot imagine Molly’s life without Tex in it. I don’t ever want to. She needs him like I need my psychiatric treatment. He is literally one of her lifelines. He helps to keep her safe, in more ways than you can imagine.

Please, PLEASE share this. Spread this like wildfire. Donate a dollar. Donate a hundred dollars. Post it where people who can donate will see it. Tweet it, Tumbl it, email it, post it on Facebook and Reddit and any other corner of the web you occupy so that my best friend can keep her best friend alive.

Thank you in advance.